Hell's Kitchen - Season 7 Opener

Season 7 starts with 16 new contestants and it starts off in an odd sort of way. If you've ever watched any of the prior Hell's Kitchen episodes, you know that Chef Ramsay is a complete, balls-to-the-wall bad ass. He shows no love to anyone. He gives the impression that he would kick a girl scout in the taco if her cookies tasted of shit.

In the opening scene, he picks a dull stay at home mom, and tries her dish. He loves it and shows her how much by snogging the fuck out of her. Turns out, it was his wife in disguise. The clever Chef was making a point to the other contestants that it doesn't matter how much experience you may or may not have, but how well you know your shit. Which brings us to our first contestant, Fran.

Fran sounds just like she looks, which to me, is a 50 year old, chain smoking, granny who plays the nickel slots at the casino. She brags about having over 30 years experience as a chef, yet is one of the first ladies to get kicked the fuck out of the kitchen because she confused crab meat with lobster meat and screwed up the lobster risoto.

She is one feisty granny with an attitude that even pisses ME off. I can tell that she's going to be a handful of warm shit all year, depending on how long she lasts. If the first episode is any indication, it won't be long til her ass is kicked out, since she was one of 2 contestants on the first chopping block.

Next, for the guys, we have the ultimate douche bag, Mikey. He is one brazen little guido fuck face. Even though he's not from the Jersey shore, he
should be declared an honorary member. The first thing we notice is his 1960's pompadour styled mo-hawk. The he shows us his new tattoo, which is Hell's Kitchen spelled out across his chest with the trade marked pitchfork. God I hope this guy goes home soon just so he can regret that shitty tattoo. Needless to say, during the first dinner service, he too, gets kicked out of the kitchen for fucking up the halibut twice.

A strong competitor for the women seems to be Autumn. She shows that she can be calm under pressure and can also try to calm the hens down when they start going bat shit crazy. Plus she won't take shit from any of the other bitch assed contestants, which she proved against the mouthy Fran. I like this girl and I hope she kicks ass in this contest.

What the fuck are we gonna do with THIS guy? Salvatore is originally from Italy, yet has lived in Jersey for over 20 years and still maintains his retarded accent. Retarded is putting it lightly, because this guy has some major soup for brains and can't boil water. How the fuck he ever made it on this show is beyond me. I guess they figured we needed to laugh at some poor dumb animal, so they gave us Salvatore.

Chef Ramsay is his usual colorful self in this episode, telling people to fuck off and what not. You know it's summer on Fox when all you hear is continuous bleeping for foul language. After the Chef's first night in the house, they get little to no sleep from being awakened by constant alarms which alerted them to instructional videos from Chef Ramsay. At this point I am laughing my ass off because Chef is taunting their tired asses in the videos.

The next day, the Chefs are supposed to have learned all the basic courses, so Ramsay opens Hell's Kitchen for it's first service. Hilarity ensues as Chef kicks half of the men and half of the women out of the kitchen before the main course is even ready to serve, thus causing the remaining contestants to merge and work as one team. That worked out fairly well, as they finished the dinner service, but the women's team loses the challenge, so one of them will be sent home.

The two on the chopping block are the insufferable Fran and Stacey, chef to the stars.

After seeing Stacey cook, I doubt she'll be cooking for any stars higher
than the D-list. She screws up the scallops on more than one occasion and is the first to get kicked out of the kitchen. The ladies and Chef Ramsay finds her to be incompetent and she is the first to leave Hell's Kitchen, Season 7.

This season started off a bit rushed, but it seems to have the great entertaining name calling delivered by Chef Ramsay, as the prior seasons. If you enjoy food, or even just like watching people make fools of themselves, you will surely enjoy Hell's Kitchen.

I give this show 3 out of 5 smiles

Bitchy Teresa