Huge - Pilot Review

No, we are not discussing the size of my ass nor the planetary size of my ego. Huge is a new drama on ABC Family. Yes, ABC Family, the cheesiest of all cheddar that brings you A Secret Life and Make It or Break It. While they canceled the decent shows like Wildfire and Kyle XY, I still hold a grudge.

Huge is about, guess what, fat people. Fat kids at fat camp. Yeah I thought it might be entertaining because one girl, Willamina, played by Nikki Blonsky (shown above) doesn't want to lose weight. Yeah, she's happy being a fatty and I thought I could love her until she caved.

Here's what happened. At the beginning, she has to strip down to her bathing suit because it's the rule. So she does a strip tease trying to be funny. It wasn't. It was a walking talking pile of jello trying to balance on a stool during a hurricane. Hey, I don't hate cuz she's fat, I hate because I don't need to see it. Cover that shit up, I still know you're fat, but come on.

Anyway, the one girl she hates is Amber, played by Hayley Hasselhoff. Yes, the Hoff's daughter. Which I don't even know why she's on this show because she's a fucking plus sized model. Plus sized models are like a size 10, so get the fuck out of the fat camp show, k? So Will, as she prefers, is the contraband of twinkies seller. She gets ratted out, sells some cupcakes to a puker, the puker gets ratted out and is sent home. Which THAT pissed me off.

Seriously. If you are at FAT camp and are bulimic, you should get some kind of treatment that makes you know that puking is not cool. Don't do it. But no, they send the vomit comet home. Everyone is sad, Will runs away because bitch Amber makes her feel guilty bc she sold her the twinkies or cupcakes the other girl puked up, blah, blah, blah.

So where does Will run off to? Oh yeah, you know it's a diner! She orders some greasy fries and a chocolate milk shake. Just what I would have ordered, except I would have gotten chili and cheese on those fries. Really. While she's there she over hears the camp counselor talking to the chef who's her dad. (Black lady counselor, white old dude, chef) Like it's some big secret, Will tries to sneak away but gets caught.

Will gets brought back to camp & decides she wants to stay and decides to stop selling her candy. BOO! What good is fat camp without a rebel tempting you with evil in a shiny wrapper? BOO!

I was also pissed because character Amber pins up skinny bitch models on her bed as "thinspiration" BITCH, you're fooling yourself. Honestly, the girl said she's been dieting since she was 10 years old. OMG Seriously? If you're not thin yet, you won't be. Learn to love yourself.

What does this show say to all the chunky monkey chicks out there? Work your ass off & diet forever? Fuck that. Look at me, I'm a fat ass size 14/16 and I go to the gym for 2 hours every day. I'm never going to be skinny because I like food too much, but I will never be a ginormous cow either. I just have issues with this show because they send mixed signals. First it was "I'm happy being fat" then it was "okay, maybe I'm NOT happy being a cow, so I'll diet and exercise now." Make up your mind!

I didn't love this show, but I didn't completely hate it either. So watch it at your own risk, like if nothing else is on. Really.