Royal Pains

Royal Pains

There's a woman I Follow on Twitter - @teresadf. She's profane and funny and....while watching her favorite TV shows Twitters at a rate of about 845,000/hour.

I'm not kidding.

Drives me frickin' Bananas. More than once I've threatened her with death, but for a girl from Kentucky, that just seems like a Saturday night.

Anyway, it occurred to me that instead of grumbling and hiring hit men, I should turn the situation into an opportunity. I have not done as much with TV Warrior as I wanted, and Teresa would be absolutely perfect for it. She agreed to try it out, and after the premiere of Royal Pains (on USA) Thursday night Teresa gamely wrote up her thoughts. I think she was trying extra hard to be civil; there was barely any swearing! After she finished, I wanted to know a little bit more, so I asked her a few questions in live Chat. Below are Teresa's thoughts on Royal Pains (in her very own unique if mostly clean words), and then our brief conversation.

[USA airs the program on Thursdays, with numerous re-airings if you want to catch up on the Pilot (which runs 90 minutes). Check USA for that. Or you can watch the episode onHulu, IMDB or]

He's not a doctor, but.....

The show starts out on the b-ball court. When one of the kids shows signs of duress, thankfully a doctor is there to save him. This is the main character of the show. We learn to call him Hank, well, because that's his name. He seems to prefer that to Dr.Lawson, as he tells everyone to just call him Hank. Hearing that the ambulance will take too long, he improvises and takes the kid in himself. While treating the kid, a millionaire hospital trustee is brought in w/heart problems. Hank tries to treat both but unfortunately the dude w/the bad ticker dies, and Hank gets sacked.

Being jobless, Hank's life begins to look like mine, sitting around drinking and watching shit television while bills pile up and your possessions get taken away. On top of that, his gold-digger fiance breaks up with him because he's not working and she's a bitch.

"Instead of Concierge Doctor I was thinking maybe Maitre D'oc."

Then we meet Hank's brother Evan who reminds Hank they are going to the Hamptons for the weekend. Upon Hank's refusal to leave the house, Evan convinces him to go.

While at a posh party, Hank witnesses a party goer in need of medical attention, being attended to by an older doctor known as the Concierge Doctor. Hank points out the doctor's misdiagnoses and starts running things like a military field doctor, improvising to save the patient. The house owner/party thrower, Boris, tries to repay Hank for his services, but Hank rejects, saying it was just the right thing to do. Boris offers him a position as his Concierge Doctor, but once again, Hank declines. While leaving the party, he finds the repayment given to him in the form of a bar of gold bullion.

Being this was only to be a "weekend vacation," Hank is awakened by an emergency call to come help save another life. We learn that news travels fast around the Hampton's as other calls begin to come in to Hank's phone. While Hank is off treating people in need of medical attention, Evan is back in their hotel room. Two women come to the room looking for Hank. This is when we meetDivya . She is a Physician's Assistant and wants Hank to hire her, and basically start his own Concierge Doctor business. Of course Evan is on board, but the two have a hard time convincing Hank, even after the phone calls keep coming in for his help.

Tending to a woman who called for Hank's help while at the local hospital, Hank crosses paths with Jill. He briefly met Jill while waiting for his car after the Hampton's party and learns she is the hospital administrator. The next day, she shows up at his hotel room and the two of them have a walk along the beach. Hank clearly falls for this chick, and starts to reconsider staying in the Hampton's and goes to talk to Boris about his prior offer to stay in the guest house as the Concierge Doctor.

Love means never having to say you're sandy.

This episode was great! It has everything! Humor, action, romance and drama. It would seem to appeal to those in the 18-45 age range, as it has young party goers, tween millionaires and rich heiresses. It hooked me in, and made me want to know what other kind of shit these dumb ass rich folks can get themselves into.


[Hyperion - I needed to know a little more from her.]

Hyperion: what do you think of Hank? What do you think of Evan?

Teresa: Well, I haven't really formed a relationship with either character. Evan is sexy and funny. Hank is very caring and easily the butt of jokes. They interact like i imagine brothers would, or best friends really. they both make fun of each other. Evan is the instigator, trying to talk Hank into this business he's unsure of.

Hyperion: What about that posh party?

Teresa: In their words, "This is where God would party, if he could get in." The show makes fun of the rich, but in a nonchalant way, not blatant.

Teresa: One woman calls Hank because she got a "flat tire" meaning one of her implants leaked and went flat.

Hyperion: Any thing you didn't like? Something out of place or trying too hard?

Teresa: Well, the young girl made a comment "Are you MacGyver?" - and how would she even know of him? LOL Everything else seemed pretty believable and well written.

Hyperion: I saw you Twittered a bunch of quotes during the broadcast. Did you have any favorites?

Teresa: The quote "I have no money,no job and my Saab is older than you" is what Hank said to one girl hitting on him at the party. "You look like an Olympic swimmer fromQueeristan" was a quote Hank said to Evan.

Teresa: Oh, my favorite: "It smells like a moose had sex w/Chinese food in here" Evan to Hank @ Hank's apt.

Hyperion: That seems like a good place to stop. Thanks for doing this for TV Warrior.

Teresa: When do I get paid?

Hyperion: Uh, let's talk about that later.

If you have a show you'd like to write about, drop me a line. If someone from Kentucky can do it, ANYONE can!

He still makes house calls....Beach-House calls! (Hey, you try it. This caption thing is harder than it looks. -H)