Vicious

Who would win in a verbal sparring match? Things to consider: ability to take criticism as well as dish it out (without wilting); ability to perceive what others are hiding and use it against them; ability to ignore social niceties and go for the jugular to hurt people; ability to pick apart others' arguments; ability to counter-punch.

And remember: this is the TV character persona, not the real actor or actresss.

After some difficulty, I found seven candidates. (I considered Valerie from 90210, but had to leave her out because I couldn't find a picture where she looked suitiably mean and not half-dressed. On the plus side, I did knock over the sun-sphere, and by that I mean I got to spend ten minutes looking at nearly-naked (and some fully naked) Tiffany-Amber Thiessen photographs, and that's always a good thing.)

Vicious Vs. (Who ya got?)




Candidate #1 - Andy Sipowicz; Though not an intellectual giant, his years on the force have given him keen insight into people, and he's balls-to-the-wall tough




Candidate #2 - Dr. Cox; His inability to put up with incompetence has led to some legendary riffs, and his self-loathing means he's heard all the abuse already....




Candidate #3 - Murphy Brown; As a recovering alcoholic and news anchor, she's already two legs up on self-righteousness




Candidate #4 - Jarod; Sort of a dark horse, especially since most people never even watched The Pretender, but Jarod has to be one of the two smartest characters in recent TV history (along with John Doe). Jarod was a caring soul, but when provoked could be incredibly vicious. Would you want the world's smartest person peering into your soul?





Candidate #5 - Roseanne Conner; She might not be as intelligent as any of the others, but Roseanne certainly wouldn't be shy about coming right at people, and her put-downs could cut deep.




Candidate #6 - Frank Pemberton; Once of the 10 best TV characters ever, I've never seen anyone so able to get people to feel bad about themselves. An essential skill if you want people to confess to murder, and one that would make him a fearsome foe in verbal battle.





Candidate #7 - Greg House; What can you say? The heavyweight favorite, and the inspiration for this version of Vs. Acerbic, vicious, manipulative, self-serving, and at times sociopathic in getting what he wants, House could probably get to anyone. His only weakness; can he take a punch from the likes of this lot, or would have have a glass jaw?


[This question was originally on Monkey Barn. To read the original comments, click here]