Jaw-Dropping TV

JAW-DROPPING TV MOMENT #1

Managed to watch a little TV last night. Some truly jaw-dropping moments.

Did you see Lost? How cool was the idea of Hurley standing there with his static-filled radio over his head, like in SAY ANYTHING?

And that ending?????? With no warning??????? Easily the most shocking forty seconds in Lost history. One hit after another after another. I cannot wait until next week.

JAW-DROPPING TV MOMENT #2

A special House last night, the end of a two-parter. Maybe now Omar Epps will finally get some Emmy recognition. (By the way, my sister claims that he has the scariest eyes on television when they bug out. Agree? Disagree?)

The two-part episode was top-notch all the way through, including a very vulnerable and off his game House, feeling guilty over sending Forman to the cop’s place. The ending again, was so abrupt, and totally sets up Cameron down the road, out of guilt and also her love of sick people.

(You’ll notice I’m going out of my way not to reveal plot lines in case any of you haven’t seen these yet.)

Seriously: is there any doubt that House and Lost are the two best shows in TV right now?

JAW-DROPPING TV MOMENT #3

Around 2 a.m. I happened to catch this show called “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” about four people who own a bar.

[AT THIS POINT, MOVE TO THE NEXT POST IF YOU’RE EASILY OFFENDED.]

In the episode I saw, news comes down that a grade school gym teacher of two of them (Mac and Charlie) has been accused of sexually molesting boys back in the ‘80s. Charlie goes running out upset, which causes Dennis and Dee (brother and sister, in the middle there) to think he was molested. They then spend the rest of the program arguing over the best way to get Charlie to acknowledge this.

It turns out Dee majored in Psychology, but failed all her classes, while Dennis minored in Psych, and passed all of his. However, Dee points out that, “three quarters of a major is a lot bigger than a whole minor.”

(Since when is failing all of your classes considered “three quarters” of anything?) The end result is a horrible family intervention, where Charlie’s mom tries to get him to point out where on a baby doll the gym teacher touched him.

Of course—in the only conceivable way you could film this—the gym teacher is innocent, and Charlie is actually upset because he knows the accusers (two brothers), and tries to stop them from “cashing in all on the molestation law suits.”

Meanwhile, Mac (on the far left)—who went to the school too—is very upset at these charges as well. Those two brothers were quite ugly, and Mac can’t figure out how they were molested (and apparently Charlie too, or so he thinks), and Mac wasn’t!

I still haven’t even gotten to the jaw-dropping moment. You’re gonna want to sit down for this.

Mac goes to the gym teacher’s house wearing tight shorts and a tank top, and starts talking about how much he’s worked out and groin pulls. The gym teacher is a big fat guy who somehow looks pretty good for a big fat guy, all natural like. I couldn’t help but think that I knew him from somewhere, and then it hit me.

The gym teacher was Mr. Belding!!!!!

I almost fell out of my chair. How could this be? And he was saying all sorts of swear words too. Unbelievable.

I hate pointing this out every time I talk about adult humor, but you all know (or should know) my stance on molestation. (If you don’t please take the time to read columns #300 and 352. Please. They’re just about the best I’ve ever written. Go do it now.)

That said, I do think that anything can be funny in certain situations, and I have to admit this was hilarious.

Plus, maybe Mr. Belding will be back!